It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
