batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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