I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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