So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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