a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
