lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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