We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I cut my penus on the lid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize