I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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