I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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