They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
