I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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