I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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