Please, let me fuck your mom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
