Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
