remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
