so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
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Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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