the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
jump out the window naked night went bad
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