I think I died a long time ago.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
