Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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