Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
