She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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