My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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