I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My hand turned me down
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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