if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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