his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
