Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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