you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
