dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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