Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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