I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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