So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
