Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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