I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize