I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you traded sex for a burrito?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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