I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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