i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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