White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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