why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
