I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize