You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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