i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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