So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
