it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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