Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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