So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
