No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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