i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
