doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
