please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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