I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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