She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
