my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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