youre lurking in front of me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
