How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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