Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
