I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
