it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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