worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
