D3 body, D1 cock
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There r osticjed everywhere
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
